Most divorces, whether in Howard County or elsewhere in the State of Maryland, involve two spouses with a historical communication problem, and then one or a series of events triggers the end of the marriage.
Then there are the cases where there is an innocent spouse, while the other spouse is just plain terrible.
If you are in one of those terrible marriages, navigating through the divorce process can be far more challenging, because when you are a horrible spouse during your marriage, you tend to be a horrible spouse during your case.
Horrible spouses tend to suffer from emotional disorders that are fairly easy to diagnose, but exceptionally difficult to treat. These are your borderline personal disorders spouses, bi-polar spouses, alcohol or otherwise dependent spouse, as well as other illnesses and disorders.
Representation of both these individuals, as well as their spouses, must be different from representing other spouses. They have different ways that they learn about divorce, and as a result, different goals fro m the divorce process.
Most spouses are guided by (1) what is best for the children, and (2) what is the most economical way to reach a financial resolution.
In cases involving a more challenging spouse, the rules are different. Instead of being guided by the above principles, they tend to think about how to punish the other spouse, how to drag out the divorce, and rarely do they care of the money they are wasting or how the children are being adversely impacted.
What you don’t know is that these same rules apply to divorce attorneys, and even to judges. Divorce attorneys are also often not normal people. Think of it. We have our own agenda, in the sense that you are paying us to help you. We also know how we think the representation should proceed. But, there is a small subset of divorce attorneys who also want litigation to be messy and expensive. I will give you one guess as to why.
So, the effective divorce attorney knows how to take all of this into consideration in mapping out a litigation plan for you.
When you go to your attorney’s office for an initial consultation, what you should expect-and demand-is a thorough education and one or more roadmaps, along with the attorney’s thoughts as to the better way to proceed, at least initially.
