Complex custody cases often result from difficult divorces. When parents with irreconcilable differences negotiate for custody of the children, they may willfully or accidentally resort to a manipulation tactic known as parental alienation.
Parental alienation can be painful for an alienated parent and confusing for the child. Yet, the signs of parental alienation can go unrecognized by both families and courts, leading to broken parental relationships and unfair settlements.
If you suspect that your former partner or spouse is practicing parental alienation, you can use this guide to recognize the signs. These issues must be addressed as soon as possible to prioritize your child’s emotional well-being.
Even if the court has already pronounced its custody verdict, you can still file an appeal to get the best outcome for you and your child.
What is the Definition of Parental Alienation?
“Parental alienation” is a broad term that describes a set of behaviors whereby one parent negatively influences the child’s opinion about the other parent. Parental alienation is not a syndrome or condition but is recognized in court as a psychological tactic used to influence the outcomes of custody hearings in cases involving complex separations.
While the impact of parental alienation has many layers, one of the most dangerous elements of it is that the parent may not even realize that they are using this tactic to influence their child.
The emotional and mental health of the parent may be the cause of the behaviors that are unwittingly causing the child distress. In other cases, a parent may use the tactic consciously to influence the child’s decisions.
To advocate for the best interests of the child they love, the alienated parent has a responsibility to recognize the signs of parental alienation, document specific instances, and present the evidence objectively.
What are the Signs of Parental Alienation?
If allowed to continue over an extended period, parental alienation can permanently damage a parent’s relationship with their child. Parents need to watch for these red flags of parental alienation in their interactions with their child and former spouse to respond to them while there is still time to repair the parental bond:
1. Difficulty Maintaining Contact
Parents with primary or temporary custody of the child during the separation may be controlling their ability to contact the other parent. The outside parent, usually the father, may notice difficulties reaching their child over the phone or excuses for delaying or canceling meetings.
A warning sign for this form of parental alienation is when the former spouse answers calls from the alienated parent, rejecting contact with the child with a range of excuses. The child may not even know that the alienated parent called, leading to the feeling that they are not interested in remaining in contact.
2. Denying or Changing Positive Memories
Another common sign of parental alienation is the denial of past positive experiences by the child. When speaking with your child, you may notice that once fond or formative memories involving your bond have become negative or non-existent to them.
They may accuse you of wrongdoing or exaggerate your past mistakes. These can be signs of the other parent’s influence over the child’s perception of your relationship.
3. New Animosity
While divorce can be hard on any family, children who demonstrate new or increasing animosity toward one parent may be victims of parental alienation. The warning signs include a lack of remorse for their treatment of the alienated parent, a lack of association with the alienated parent’s extended family, and a lack of explanation for why these feelings have changed.
How to Address Parental Alienation
Parents are right to be distressed when noticing the signs of parental alienation in their children. However, the issue must be addressed tactfully to avoid further alienation and re-establish a healthy co-parenting relationship for the child.
These are practical steps that alienated parents should take to advocate for their rights and their children’s best interests:
- Order a Custody Evaluation: A licensed professional such as a social worker will observe the parent-child relationships and report their findings to the court. Courts often order custody evaluations, but alienated parents can choose to order one as well.
- Seek Mediation: Mediators can help improve communication between separated spouses and give the child time to interact with their alienated parent. As an objective party, a mediator helps spouses reach a healthy co-parent relationship and potentially resolve issues of parental alienation, particularly in situations where the alienation was not purposeful.
- Modified Custody: In cases where parental alienation only becomes apparent after the custody hearing has concluded, the alienated parent can file for modified custody, presenting evidence in favor of the child’s best interests such as proof of missed visitations or hostile communication.
Trust an Experienced Attorney to Handle Your Complex Custody Cases in Maryland
At Milstein Siegel, our experienced attorneys have strategically assisted parents in the Maryland area with complex custody cases for over 30 years. We understand the uphill battles facing fathers as they attempt to assert their rights and fulfill their legal responsibilities.
Our attorneys not only address complicated legalities but also guide fathers in overcoming the complex emotional challenges of parental alienation. Our team is devoted to fighting for your rights and finding creative solutions to the wide range of issues related to child custody hearings.
Contact us today to learn how we use our expertise in Maryland custody law to help our clients reach the best possible outcome for their situation and for their children.
