Custody is one of the most common areas in which parents encounter disputes during a divorce. While the two parties may disagree over who should receive primary legal or physical custody and how the time should be divided, the one left helpless in the middle is the child.
Complex custody cases can have a lasting negative impact on children when handled without care. In cases of high-conflict divorce and subsequent disputes over custody, studies have shown that children face a significantly increased risk (around 46%) of post-traumatic stress disorder deriving from the situation.
When custody disputes are unavoidable, the best decision is to work closely with an experienced attorney. They can facilitate clear and consistent communication, and help both parties to follow best practices, resolving the dispute more quickly and fairly.
The following looks at practical strategies that prioritize the child’s best interest, minimizing emotional stress and damage.
Focus on the Child’s Best Interests
The primary concern in any custody dispute is to focus on the child’s best interests. Both parents should consider which type of custody arrangement, time split, and living arrangements most effectively facilitate the child’s development.
This may include access to specific schools and medical care facilities or acknowledgment of which parent meets the child’s religious and social needs through local access, group membership, and more.
Both parents typically have a role to play in fulfilling a child’s best interests. However, if one works long hours, has a medical condition that may interfere with care, or presents other confounding factors, it may be most beneficial for the other parent to assume the majority stake in custody responsibilities.
Maintain Consistent Routines
Another important element when resolving complex custody disputes is to maintain consistent routines with the child. The worst option for parents is to create a confusing, chaotic system for the child, even if temporary.
Even though parents may be embroiled in an emotional and logistically challenging disagreement, the child’s daily routine should remain uninterrupted as much as possible. This includes schooling, extracurricular activities, and time with friends.
Above all, never use the child as a tool or weapon against the other parent, such as by withholding visits.
Provide Emotional Support
Parents often underestimate how much children understand or will remember about custody disputes and the uncertainties of divorce. Throughout this challenging time, both parents should cooperate in providing emotional support to the child.
Avoid discussing what the other parent is doing “wrong” or why the situation is difficult, or telling the child what they should say to or think of the other parent; this is not the child’s responsibility.
Instead, help the child to name the emotions they are feeling, and acknowledge these emotions as valid and authentic. It is all right to feel them. Reassure the child that both parents love them and want what is best for them, and reaffirm that this time of uncertainty will not last forever.
Keep Communication Open
Even if they are embroiled in disagreement, both parents should keep lines of communication open. This facilitates a faster resolution for complex custody cases and prevents children from being blocked from seeing or interacting with a parent.
Remember—the child is the one most significantly affected by custody arrangements, and the process should be focused on them. Communicate clearly and frequently to provide necessary information.
Utilize Legal Counsel
When custody becomes a complex issue in a divorce, it is wise to work with an attorney who can manage negotiations and court proceedings, making sure that custody arrangements are fair and prioritize the welfare of the child.
In the midst of a difficult, personal challenge such as divorce, both parents may find it difficult to avoid letting their emotions dictate their decisions and responses. Attorneys can provide an unbiased third party buffer that gets the job done without added emotional influences.
Additionally, an attorney understands the nuances of custody, from the forms to file and evidence to present to the tendencies of specific judges in local jurisdictions and how they have ruled in similar cases. This combined knowledge is invaluable for presenting a strong case.
Overcome Complex Custody Cases With a Legal Team
Complex custody disputes happen; this is part of the nature of many divorces. Such difficulties can still be overcome with the help of legal professionals who provide guidance on how to maintain stability for the child and resolve the conflict as soon as possible.
The professional team at Milstein Siegel can help you overcome a custody dispute, no matter how complicated, so that your child receives the outcome that is best for them. Contact Milstein Siegel to schedule a consultation.